The Odyssey

$17.99

It’s been damn near 20 years since Odyssia first sailed for Troy… as if a 10 year war wasn’t bad enough. Then she’s gotta face the wrath and pettiness of goddesses and sorcerers and monsters and mutiny from her own crew and that’s not even half of it! It just never ends!!

Then she washes up on the island of the super clingy god, Calypso, who wishes to marry her and make her immortal. Odyssia is having none of that. She has Peneleon waiting for her at home, and she will literally go through Hell and high water to get back to him…… but Calypso’s island is basically impossible to escape so… she’s kinda stuck. So just like how Peneleon spends his days crying in his room, Odyssia spends her days crying on the beach. Luckily though, not ALL the goddesses are against her. She still has a couple friends left on Mount Olympia.

The thing that keeps her going is knowing that it’ll all be worth it when she finally returns home to Ithaca, takes her loving husband in her arms, sees her daughter all grown up, and guts every last suitor that dared to sully her floors.

P.S.
If you’re wondering what all the weird notes are about, this version of the Odyssey was written by a woman who was CONVINCED that the Odyssey was written by a man, and she has all these weird notes as “proof“.

E-book pre-order coming soon on Amazon!

(Paperbacks will be released on October 1st!)

It’s been damn near 20 years since Odyssia first sailed for Troy… as if a 10 year war wasn’t bad enough. Then she’s gotta face the wrath and pettiness of goddesses and sorcerers and monsters and mutiny from her own crew and that’s not even half of it! It just never ends!!

Then she washes up on the island of the super clingy god, Calypso, who wishes to marry her and make her immortal. Odyssia is having none of that. She has Peneleon waiting for her at home, and she will literally go through Hell and high water to get back to him…… but Calypso’s island is basically impossible to escape so… she’s kinda stuck. So just like how Peneleon spends his days crying in his room, Odyssia spends her days crying on the beach. Luckily though, not ALL the goddesses are against her. She still has a couple friends left on Mount Olympia.

The thing that keeps her going is knowing that it’ll all be worth it when she finally returns home to Ithaca, takes her loving husband in her arms, sees her daughter all grown up, and guts every last suitor that dared to sully her floors.

P.S.
If you’re wondering what all the weird notes are about, this version of the Odyssey was written by a woman who was CONVINCED that the Odyssey was written by a man, and she has all these weird notes as “proof“.

E-book pre-order coming soon on Amazon!

(Paperbacks will be released on October 1st!)

More Books You May Like

The Iliad
$17.99

Alternate title: The Girls are Fighting

In this epic prequel to The Odyssey, we actually don’t really focus on Odyssia at all. She’s around, of course, doing her thing. She does a cool stealth mission at one point. But this story is really about Hectia, Agamemna, and of course… the great heroine Achille.

It’s the final year of the Trojan war over the kidnapping of Helenus. Our mighty and legendary Achille is sulking in her tent because Agamemna took her slave-boyfriend. Without her, the Greeks are in a tough spot, but Agamemna is too proud to make things right and Achille is too petty to accept any apology. Nothing could convince Achille to get out there and fight again, she’s just gonna stay in her tent with her totally hetero life-partner Matrocleia who she loves more than anything in the world. Gosh, I sure hope nothing ever happens to her…

Behind the scenes of all of this drama, the goddesses are getting up to all sorts of shenanigans that turn the tides of the war all over the place.

E-book pre-order coming soon on Amazon!

(Paperbacks will be released on October 1st!)

The Aeneid
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Hey, remember Aenea? From the Iliad? …no?

WELL she gets her OWN Odyssey adventure!

Did Virginia just write a plagiarized version of the Odyssey by Homera?

I mean…….. the similarities are pretty glaring. But do I respect the fact that this story was commissioned by the empress of Rome and she wanted it to glorify her but Virginia didn’t like her so she figured out a way to write it so it glorified Rome while subtly MOCKING the empress? Yes. Absolutely. I respect the Hell out of that. This book is worth reading based on that alone.

Follow Aenea and her crew as they go through all kinds of nonsense just to make it back home again. Sound familiar?

E-book pre-order coming soon on Amazon!

(Paperbacks will be released on October 1st!)

The Divine Comedy
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Dantea really said “I’m going to write my own self insert fanfiction where I get to hang out with my celebrity crush and lust after a boy I barely knew before he died and no one can stop me.“ and she did. She really did.

And now, centuries in the future, we get to read the thrilling tale of Dantea getting lost in the woods and the only way out for some reason is to follow Virginia (the woman who wrote The Aeneid) through literal Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven. What a crazy Tuesday that was.

E-book pre-order coming soon on Amazon!

(Paperbacks will be released on October 1st!)

Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea
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A giant sea monster has been terrorizing ships all over the world! But what is this thing? and how could ANY creature be so fast that it could be in the Pacific one moment, and seem to suddenly appear in the north Atlantic faster than any modern ship could travel? This is exactly what our girls Dr. Aronnax, her trusty servant Consella, and their new trigger-happy harpooner friend Nadia Land, are on an expedition to find out!

When a close encounter with the monster throws the women overboard, they find refuge on a… metal island? But it isn’t an island at all, its some kind of strange underwater vessel! A strange vessel commanded by the equally strange and mysterious Captain Nemo, a woman who has completely cut all ties with society. She’s starting another voyage around the world, and whether the women want to or not, they’re coming with … because from this day forward, they are now Captain Nemo’s prisoners!

How are our girls gonna out-smart such a genius woman and make it back to their homelands again? Idk, but they better figure something out quick cuz Nadia’s mood is growing increasingly “stabby“.

“Get in, Losers! We’re circumnavigating the globe!“

E-book pre-order coming soon on Amazon!

(Paperbacks will be released on October 1st!)